the point of no return

it's not the dazzling lights that ignite your long darknesses
the night sky velvety-black perforated with endless shimmering starlight
it's not the depths of the river i walked by
the sea! the sea! my heart's well desires no freshwater
it's not the mechanical sounds of your clockwork efficiency
indications of humanity: conversation is warm, laughter too loud

it's the roots being extracted
it's the heartbeats left behind
it's knowing it's over

it's the million miles between then and now

a lifetime away
i'm home

Time.

in the end

maybe i just miss us.

all of us. the way things used to be.

simple times. finger-painted dreams.

crying over spilled milk and broken Barbie dolls.

model train sets. remote controlled cars.

the perimeters of our world cut from

paper-heart valentines and the pages of TeenBeat magazine.

maybe i don't like change very much

maybe i just don't like this change

maybe, in the end, i just want what i can't have:

Time

to catch up

with all this growing up

all of us have had to do.