the imperfections

In the proverbial pod, sameness prevails.
In the proverbial pod, sameness prevails.

(But if you're lucky, you'll find a pod that's not a proverb, and a pea that isn't perfect. And then you won't need the pod anymore.)

In the proverbial pod, sameness prevails.

light up

you try so hard to find the light. searching the Globe for what you think you need to see. gathering up stray melting candles and flickering fluorescent bulbs. holding onto them as they slowly fuse out and fade away. but enlightenment can't be borrowed. and it can't be caged away. you'll find the switch when you're ready. but maybe the first step is learning how to change a globe.

on the top step

When you find the Stairway to your heaven
(sometimes you need help finding the First Step)
you just keep climbing higher and higher
so close
(it does get closer with every step)
Make sure you turn at the Top of the Stair
look back
laugh - for the last (first) time?
And then just leap
because you know the cotton candy clouds will catch you

the song

hold onto the music of that night. and know. even after the strings of our last guitar have been strummed. even when all our records have their edges worn to threads. and when the last of the coloured lightbulbs has lost its filament heart. know that the beat will still echo. know that those words will mean to me what they meant to us then.

in anticipation of load-shedding

I'm making a postcard for my memory:

Starry-eyed, child-like wonder. So naive.
Laughter? Yes, there was always laughter. And walking arm-in-arm with friends-who-became-family, my heels keeping pace with their All Stars (just about).
How we laughed.

The lights won't shine this brightly at home.

the real world

and the games that were our everything once

i don't play them anymore

they got diarised out by urgent phonecalls plane tickets hospital bills work sleepless nights buses meetings emails insurance rent exams coffee taxes screeching sirens

noise

it's too noisy for games now

different shoes, different feet

You said I didn't understand. So I tried to walk a mile in your shoes. But you know I'm not a stilettos-on-marble-tile kind of girl, and the click of your heels miss-matched my beat. So I gave you back your feet... and walked the other way. But maybe, one day, we'll meet again. On a park bench or a city street, both picking gum off the surfaces of our similarly worn-down soles.

the visitor

"What is this place we've come to?" she questioned, wonderingly. "Will I find Friends here?"

"Perhaps," you replied. "They will seek you in the Shadow; sometimes you will see them, and sometimes you will not. But always they will be there, searching."

"And what will I say to them?"

"You will know the words," you promised. So she believed, and put away her Fears.

for the noise in my calm, with gratitude

Oneday you will die. And when you're gone, I'll remember this day, when I wasn't alone and the silence was warmed by your noise. Because the silence from beyond your grave will be too loud, and my heart will shatter before my ear-drums.

fade

you know that
when i'm with you
the world fades away.
but what you don't know
is that when i'm with you,
even i fade away.
blurring, melting, pixelating
becoming less of what i seem to be
and more of who i am

the dream

I'd rather remember you here
among the fading multicoloured lights
of a smoke-filled, pulse-pounding dream
where all our songs melted into one
and the DJ let us play on repeat
Because now your feet have forgotten
as they barely tap out a beat
Because at the place you are now gone,
vinyl isn't a life en-circled
and people cheer at 'no smoking' signs

the victory

at the moment of choosing
i thought you went on alone
without me
but now that i'm strong
i perceive -
it was i who went on
and you were the one standing still

release

In my heaven, the grass is always freshly cut and the air always smells of summer rain. And there aren't any 'Keep off the lawn' signs.
But we do it anyway.

the break

i have no more similes for this
no tears like raindrops,
embraces warm as the sun,
whisperings like the wind,
heartbreaks like the sound of thunder.
now you are gone.
and when the sky cracks
the lightning won't make fulgurites
but the rain will drown the world

the mask

I had to turn away before you stripped away my last willing layer. Because if I permitted you to witness the raw power you exert over my secret soul, some distant day you'll stop using it to entrance my spirit and you will crush me. And I will let you. So I turn away, and exalt in solitude.